Henricksen’s first rule of writing a memoir is that you better have had interesting experiences, and the second is that you better have something interesting to say about them. You ought to be clear in your mind about why total strangers, not just Mom, should read your little book.

Too many people are writing memoirs. There’s memoir glut. If you haven’t invented the doomsday machine or a cure for death, write letters to your friends. Don’t write a memoir.

But there are exceptions. An old friend of mine from New Orleans, Judy Connor, wrote a wonderful memoir called Southern Fried Divorce. I knew Judy when she sported a different last name, and I picked up her book having heard only that people in Louisiana were enjoying it. Five pages in, I realized that I had known the eccentrics and zanies she was offering up.

What makes Judy’s memoir special? First, it’s only incidentally about her. Mainly, it’s about her utterly original and often notorious ex-husband, called in the book “that ex.” His exploits, often accompanied by the couple’s brown dog, are enough to carry the narrative from one comedy to the next, and in the process Judy paints a loving portrait both of him and of the carefree city they lived in during the seventies and eighties.

What else makes her book special? There’s no self pity, although that ex would have stirred up torrents of it in a weaker person. But Judy doesn’t douse us with a bucket of regrets. Why? Because she doesn’t have any. Instead, she slowly unearths the love that she and her ex shared even beyond the divorce. Her wonderful story rests firmly on a foundation of love and humor.

My advice? Don’t you dare write a memoir with the intent of making people feel sorry for you. If you do, I’ll get Judy after you. We’re busy feeling sorry for ourselves.

And finally, Judy can write. The narrative voice is racy and southern, a style to fit the content. You won’t be reading newspaper prose if you settle down with Judy’s book. You’ll be emersed in the language of the city and the streets.

The last I heard, Judy was working on a sequel to be called Southern Fried Secrets. I don’t know how that project is developing, but if the train ever comes in I’ll hop aboard for another great ride.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 27th, 2008 at 2:31 pm and is filed under Memoir, Writing Lessons. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.